Puzzling Puzzles

A new "hobby" of mine is putting together puzzles. While at work I will open the cupboard and pull out a 100 piece puzzle, pour the contents onto the table and begin to assemble them. I find it equal parts relaxing and frustrating. I tend to have no rhyme or reason as to how I assemble the puzzles and instead of looking at the box I haphazardly attempt to connect pieces that are clearly not suited for each other; but I feel this unforeseen pressure to construct the puzzle as quickly as humanly possible. I am not Elaine Lewis and thus it takes me quite a while to finish the puzzles, if I even do.

It is quite fitting that this new hobby of mine has come along at this present time and I do not think it is mere coincidence. I currently am attempting to construct the puzzle that is my life. It is overwhelming and tiresome and I just want everything to be figured out right now! I look at the table and I see all of the pieces scattered and I cannot help but wonder when and how everything will workout. Since graduating life has been a haze. There is a general direction that I am moving, but many changes have occurred but nothing is set in stone.

While at work, I cannot never finish a puzzle on my own. Maybe it is a lack of practice or technique or maybe it is the idea that we are not to construct puzzles on our own. I forget that I am not alone in this, that I have someone putting the pieces together exactly as they should go. I want complete control though, I want to know exactly what is to happen; but I cannot. It is puzzling and many times I sit and wonder what will happen. There is no telling right now and even though I am eager to figure it all out I cannot force things to happen and instead I need to be patient and wait for things to happen as they are supposed to.